Gethsemane

I am particularly emotional right now.

Filled with an overwhelming confirmation that my Savior not only loves me, but that he feels me. Because of the Atonement I can be forgiven of my mistakes, but more importantly to me in my life right now, I have a friend. One that is always there for me. One that knows how I feel and understands me.

For our Easter Program the children are singing Gethsemane.  

It's a beautiful song. I have loved being in Primary listening to the children learn and sing it.

"The hardest thing that ever was done. The greatest pain that ever was known. The biggest battle that ever was won. This was done by Jesus. The fight was won by Jesus."

My mind can't fully comprehend what happened in Gethsemane, but my heart feels that (among other things) it was an act of love. For us. For the Father. 

I love Jesus Christ. With all my heart I love him.

Picture is from the movie Another Testament Reflections of Christ

Photography by Mark Mabry 

11 months

She is every bit as sweet as she is adorable.

She is pulling up onto everything. Her little legs are wobbly under her, but getting stronger everyday.
We spend so much time together I feel like I can read her facial expressions.
She gets this look in her eye and I know she recognizes something.
Like when I say "tongue" and she will look at me and stick hers out.
Or when I'm feeding her and I sign "more" and she smiles at me and opens her mouth.
Or when she is in the bath and I say "splash" and she will start hitting the water splashing it everywhere!
She now has her two top teeth, and is over her cold. Consequently, she is back to her happy state.
She has this obsession with burring her face in anything soft and in a pile. We all get a kick out of it.
Her laugh. I need to record it and keep it forever. It makes everything better.

She is every bit of detail needed to complete my family.

Standing

I remember opening the door to my sons room to find him sitting up in his crib for the first time.
I remember doing the same thing to find him standing.
and I remember the above for both of my girls.

These little, yet monumental steps that shout: "i'm growing. so quickly!"
I cherish every time I open that door to her room.
Because my little baby boy that used to greet me standing up in his crib is now nearing eight.
And just yesterday I put my baby down to sleep, and today when I opened the door she was standing.
Greeting me with this big happy smile. Reminding me that I am someone so special to her.
And that all of my hard work and efforts are so entirely worth it.

Giggles

10 Months

At 10 months she continues to be content and easy going. She keeps tricking us into thinking she is teething, but nothing comes through. Only the longest running cold in the history of babies in our family. Poor girl. She's been a trooper. She likes to get up on her knees, but isn't pulling up onto her feet yet. I love finding her all over the house getting into things. An open cupboard is her best friend, and the solid 20 minutes of entertainment is always worth the clean up. She wakes up and wants to search the house for who is home. She welcomes anyone she finds with a smile and a wave. I love how she now crawls really fast as if she is racing to get somewhere exciting. Love how she lifts an arm up toward you if she wants you to pick her up. Love that she waves to everything:  cars or people driving by. Love the way she plays peek a boo lifting up her blanket over her face and giggling when she pulls it down over and over. LOVE that giggle of hers. Love her wide mouth smile showing off her two bottom teeth and the way she squints her eyes making her smile extra happy. Love that she takes good naps. I love that she loves me. I put a lot of hard work and effort into these little people I call mine and it's nice to not be talked back to. Without saying anything she has a way of showing me countless times throughout the day how much she needs me. Sometimes it's hard, but most of the time it's rewarding. It feels my heart with love, and love is a good thing. I love you Andie Jane.

Sleep

Andie had her 9 month apt. with the Dr. yesterday. I let her sleep as long as possible and when I went to wake her I found her like this. When the stars aline something beautiful like this happens. My heart skipped a couple of beats. In excitement I quickly and ever so quietly ran for my camera. After taking a picture on the phone I realized this was just too perfect to not get a shot on my real deal camera. I didn't care if I was late for her appointment, or missed it all together.
I'm forever in love with this moment. I forever love photography so I will never forget it.
(If you follow me on Instagram you have already seen this, but it had to be put here as well.)

Kids Christmas Pictures

I love to make calendars and books with the pictures I take of our family throughout the year. I print the books through My Publisher and the calendars through Paper Coterie. For 2012 I am going to try out a new company Artifact Uprising. I love the look of their books and I am so excited that I can put up to 200 pages in one book. With My Publisher I had to split the year into two books because I could only put 100 pages into a book. Every December for the past couple of years I've taken Holiday pictures of the kids together, for the book, for myself, for Christmas presents, and most importantly for them to one day be able to look back on. This year I rented Justin Hackworths Studio. I love it. The lighting is amazing. He is incredibly kind and ignored my kids being terrible. I got the cutest headband for Ella and she took it off and left it at home. I got really cute boots for Andie and she kept kicking them off. I thought I would start with Andie, so I set her down and she flipped back hitting her head. So we did group shots together. It went well until Andie scratched Tate and they both started to cry. We took a break. While Tate fed Andie a bottle, I took pictures of Ella. When I tried to take the 2 bandaids off her arm she got upset. So we left them on. Halfway through she decided she really did want them off. I don't know why I got upset about it in the first place. The pictures are so her, making silly faces with bandaids covering her arm because she picks at it relentlessly. I about had a heart attack from the stress of my oldest acting like he didn't know the meaning of obeying while I tried to take pictures of cousins. It took the rest of the day for me to get my pulse back to normal and get over feeling bad for the way I treated my kids for not doing what they were asked. I hate that I can be so patient for other people when I work with them, but with the people it matters most - my family, I let them have it. Anyways I bribed them big time for this shoot, (Ella got Stompez and Tate got to go for Ice Cream) and prepped them over a week in advance that it was coming and they better be good... which they were! It was during the rest of the shoot with the cousins that one of mine couldn't handle sitting in the waiting room quietly. We've now agreed that he never has to let me take his picture again. I'm not too worried about it. I know I can come up with a plan to help change this. Anyway, here they are. The good and the great. And one outtake where Andie hurt Tate and then started to cry because Tate was crying. I love every single one.

9 m o n t h s

She was not happy at all on her 9 month mark, and I'm too lazy (insert impatient) to attempt doing them again. Mix together teething and a cold and you get a sad little baby. She is also crawling a little and scooching a lot. She eats everything she finds on the floors and so I'm all over keeping it clean. That or shutting the doors to keep her contained! She mimics the noises I make, talks when I sing to her,  and let's me rock her to sleep. She will not sit for more then a few seconds before she is off, loves to drop things and watch them fall, and she cries if her feelings are hurt.
The other day she bit me hard and I when I said ouch! she immediately looked at me. I said no, no! don't bite. Her face fell and she started to cry the saddest cry. I forgot that these little ones understand and feel at such a young age.
She continues to be a source of joy, peace, and love in our family.
I'm so thankful she is here with us. I'm so happy that I have a space between her and the older two. Having to start over is true, but having a baby around is so fulfilling. Not only to me, but the family as a whole. Ella loves to help me feed her. Tate loves to hold her. She loves to entertain them.
Every night when I'm in her room getting her ready for bed the kids run into the room, and back out and she laughs and laughs. It's contagious. I love her laugh. I love her.

Camera Girl

I love my little El.
I tried to take Andies 9 months pics today. She wanted in on the job. Every time I almost had a good picture of her she beat me to it with her camera, leaving my pictures with either her flash or a red light on A's face. I was frustrated. It's hard to put time and effort into things only to have them fail. She went out of the room and when I found her she had set this up: Molly dressed up (in the outfit I so badly wanted to get cute pictures of Andie in) holding the chalk board and on it she had written 1 months.
I am a tightly wound Mom.
Everyday, throughout the day, I have to remember to chill out. Little doings like this help me. They remind me that it ultimately doesn't matter that I have big hopes for things that often don't work out. What I do have are three littles that fill me with more joy than all those big hopes and dreams ever will.

Snow

Lots and lots of snow!