Our family is a circle of strength and love.

With every birth and every union, the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more love.

Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger.

I have been told in a blessing to be patient with my children.

I've often thought it may as well have just said "you will have a daughter named Ella, and you will need extra patience with her"

I have also thought on occasion that she is lucky that I am her mom.

She pushes me daily. Sometimes to a breaking point.

I won't pretend for a second that I don't break, but never out of control.

I have the strength to walk away. And for that Ella, you are lucky.

This child of my Heavenly Father was sent to my care.

She is where she should be.

She is the test of my life at this point.

I dislike her so much, yet love her for the reasons I dislike her.

Today while she was frustrated I found myself telling her

"Come to me, and I will help you."

I paused and thought more about what I had just said.

I realized that there is someone saying the exact same thing to me.

He is waiting for me to come to him. He can help me.

He who has already told me that I will need patience to make it through this is simply waiting for me. To ask.

Dreaming of the summer nights that will be spent under this tree.

I fall asleep every night looking up through it's branches shining through the moonlight.

Loving the view. Appreciating gifts given.

... I can cut my own hair!

I can wash myself.

In fact, I can do it all on my own.

Today. In #'s.

1. the number of parent teacher conferences attended.

2. the number of bowls of cereal consumed.

3. the number I choose to call my favorite.

4. the number of times I woke up with my 3 year old during the night. urg.

5. the number of calls I made.

6. the number of days spent painting a project I finished. today.

7. the number of hours I feel behind on sleep.

8. the number of minutes until my love is back.

9. the number of pages read.

10. the number of fingernails broken off.

11. the number of times I ran up and down the stairs.

12. the number of plentitude.

13. the number of times I thought about a tropical vacation.

14. the number of movies ella wanted to watch.

15. the number of miles I drove.

16. the number of candles I wish I were blowing out on my b-day cake.

17. the number of minutes waisted.

18. the number of conversation hearts I conversed with.

19. the number of clothes picked up off the floor.

20. the number of nails painted.

All loved out.

Time to relax.

Peanut Butter Kiss cookies.

I didn't realize "hershey kiss & valentine" until after we made them.

Cole said "really?" when I made the connection.

He was onto it all along.

The kids loved taking them around.

Ella fell a bizillion times.

We are thinking about getting her knee & elbow pads to wear. always.

Sweater obsession, and not in a good way.

Ella tells me daily to take my hoodie off.

She will say things like:

"We are best friends, but you can't come by me. Take your sweater off."

"Go away. I don't want your sweater by me."

"Will you help me? no never mind. I don't like your sweater."

"Oh THANK YOU!! you took your sweater off. Mom, that is sooo nice."

Today's memories.

Spending time as a family.

Including but not limited to:

The Provo Beach Club. Playing arcades, winning tickets, picking out prizes. Enjoying the smiles on the kids faces. Hearing I love you's.

Eating out. Totally enjoyable. Easy for Mom - no cooking required. Yet so rewarding to sit back and enjoy watching our interactions as a family.

Renting movies. Laughing at Ella's choice of movie "Mario Brothers" same movie (different episodes) as her big brother. She often says she is a boy. She wants to be like her brother so much. Luckily he is naturally a good kid, therefore a good influence.

Watching our movie together while the kids fell asleep to their movie.

Tucking the kids into bed. Simply my favorite part of each day. Nothing is more rewarding than watching those kids sleep carelessly and peacefully all comfortable in their beds. What a blessing. What a way to contemplate and end the night.

Valentine Cards

Today's picture could have been:

the kids playing together.

the kids fighting.

spagetti.

somehow incorporating the ugly feelings I felt eat at me all day. ugly I tell you.

sunshine melting the snow away.

Instead you get a snapshot of me sitting at the computer. laughing. at myself.

Because of course you can't play with photo booth and not take funny pictures!

Super Bowl Sunday.

Waiting anxiously in hopes to see this commercial! YAY!!!!!

Our local friends just won big people!

Time out.

Let's just say for the majority of the morning.

Sick with croup.

Ella said " Can we get Tater died, and get a new Tater that isn't sick?"

She misses playing with her big brother and doesn't know exactly how to go about expressing it.