Merry Christmas

2012 card

and the rest of the pictures that didn't make this years Christmas card,

but are equally loved:

*Picture credit to my talented sister in law Ashley.

2 years ago:

Today:

Love them with all my heart.

8 months

Where does the time go? My little baby is sitting up and getting all over the place with her little army crawl. She loves her head to be rubbed and likes to flip back and look at things upside down. She is still such a happy easy going little thing, but still prefers Mom or Dad if they are within seeing or hearing distance. Everything goes in her mouth. She wants to eat whatever I am having. She wakes up every morning at 4:30 to eat, and then again at 8:30. I haven't kicked the early morning feed for two reasons: She is still so small, and I know I will miss this time with her. She loves to play with her brother and sister and now that she is big enough in their eyes, I often find them sitting behind her playing with her or someone carrying her - which is always alarming. I don't care how old they are! She brings so much joy to us!

7 months

and growing everyday...

Just before I painted eyebrows on her.

fort.

necessary entertainment on a rainy day.

6 months

On the day you were born, it was love at first sight.

I welcomed you, little one, and held you tight.

My heart simply grew bigger in size

the first time I looked into your sweet eyes.

Hope and happiness danced in the air.

Joy filled my heart and spread everywhere.

I made a promise to you on that very day.

This, my precious child, is what I had to say:

"I will always love you!"

I'll cherish the things that are uniquely you - 

Your talents, your hopes, and your wishes, too.

I'll rock you to sleep as I sing you a song.

I'll read you stories as you follow along.

I'll show you the beauty of the stars in the sky.

My love will be with you as the years go by.

I'll teach you to see life from different points of view.

And be there to help make you dreams come true.

The world became a more wonderful place

The moment I saw your beautiful face...

-Welcome Little One

by Sandra Magsamen

6 months.

Stats:

Height: 26 in. - 60%

Weight: 13 lbs 15 oz - 12%

L.O.V.E is all I have for her.

* see the other kids six month stats here.

I plan to blow this picture up b.i.g.

Because when I look at it I am reminded why I love this little one so much.

Yes. sometimes I need reminding. 

Like when I am at the book store and she is on the floor screaming at the top of her lungs.

Kicking.

Hitting.

and the two young clerks and the older couple in the store look at me like I am crazy for ignoring her. 

oh the looks I was given.

Do you ever feel incredibly judged in these moments?

I don't always, in fact people are usually empathetic.

But when she said "it must be nap time" for the third time I just smiled and nodded my head. 

What we say and what we think isn't always the same thing.

In my head I explained her.

and in my head they understood.

Why don't I say what I think more? I wish I did.

She screamed her "terrible squeal" as we now call it on the way home and for awhile in her room.

She even left a message on Dad's phone unbenounced.

Sometimes I like to record her during these episodes.

As reasoning proof of my insanity or blackmail later. Not sure which one.

It makes me happy to think one day she will grow up and maybe she will have one like her own.

As our parents put it "payback"

Only I am being payed back for my husband. Not sure that's fair! ;)

It makes me happy because I hope to be there for her.

When she calls me crying I will understand.

I will have answers.

and yes, let's be honest, a part of me wants her to have to go through the hell she gave me!

But once she cools down.

And I look again at this picture.

I am again reminded.

And somehow greatly overwhelmed with love.

For her.

And for my Father in Heaven. 

Who in round about ways strengthens me and never leaves me comfortless.

Seven years. Seven.
Cole and I have had the best seven years thanks to this little guy.

I miss his little voice. so much.

These moments over the years compiled together like this are enough to make my mother heart explode with pure happiness. I want to say so much more. But I'm not. Because it will take me 45 minutes to come up with a good paragraph... and right now I want to be there. and not here.

I'm a proud Mom.
Everyday I'm thankful for him in my life.



(Thanks to my dear El who kept putting her hand in front of the camera, I didn't get all of his goals... but you get the idea.)